PEARL

If you think of someone you care about, someone close to you, it's easy to picture them in your mind. The instant that the name comes into your mind, an image can easily be conjured up. When I think of my own name, though, it's really hard for me to picture my face. I have to think about it for a while until I pull all of the details I know about my face and knit them together to form an image of myself in my own mind. It's an odd struggle, trying to picture an image of myself in my own mind. Now, just because I can't picture my tangible face doesn't mean I don't exist because well, I'm the one thinking. When I consciously think about God, it's hard to stay focused sometimes because I can't quite make an image of him in my mind; there's no face to put to who I'm talking to. Then, I think about his qualities; what I know. Sometimes I picture a pitch black cave, with only stalagmites and stalagtites shining light across the space. The cave is filled with a spacious dark pool of water and in the middle is a small, rocky, and cragly island; there sits this beautiful basin made of different clays and stones and perfect gleaming earth toned gems. It is filled with the purest water and looking from the top, it seems like there's a bottom but if you reach in, it would never end. Then I start to imagine God's personality; I think of his qualities and one by one, translucent colors fill the basin of water. He is love; faint pink swirls and sinks down to the bottom. He is patient, a light bluish gray follows. He is thoughtful; purple sinks down. He is intricate and wise; a silver stream of grey swirls around. He is funny and boisterous; orange and red dance down together. He is humble, a mint green glides down like a piece of paper does through the air. He is the light; bright whiteish yellow bursts around and starts to light the room. He is understanding. He is patience. He is kindness. He is gentleness. He is peace. He is steady. He is strong. He is the protector. He is papa. He is healing. And as each color comes out, they reflect off of the gems of the basin and stalagmites and soon bounce onto the walls of the cave; the most vibrant colors filling the cave. His qualities are so countless that new colors never seen or imagined before fill the room. There's no way to ignore the colors, they're everywhere - soon it's all that can be breathed in. I walked into the cave blind and awakened to the most beautiful awe-inspiring artwork impossible to even begin to imagine. As abstract as that is, it's only a picture that gives a glimmer of a reminder me who I get to call Abba, father. Who I know is love. And love is all of those qualities. But a picture explained through words can't even begin to explain the vastness and complexity of God, it's almost a frustrating task because there is nothing that would do justice to describing our Creator. I become so overcome with emotion; His presence is the welling that comes to my eyes and the tickle that crawls up my throat without warning, I just know he's there. I could never claim to explain it, but do and will always know it. And best of all, he isn't just the abstract picture in my mind, he is real. He is a person. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a relationship with the one who loved me before anyone did and loves me more than anyone could ever dream. All of us who deserve nothing instead receive everything without asking, without even thinking of asking. That's who He is. He is love. Incredible, awesome love. Indescribable and self-sacrificing love; in every sense.