a season of blessing

God has been taking me through a season of not only blessing, but helping me realize how blessed I truly am. The community here is amazing, each person is so welcoming and sweet and so interesting... it's so exciting because we all keep saying how close we are going to get over this period of time, yet we already have bonded in such a close way. The most beautiful part is that God has bonded us altogether. Although it's hard not to have preconceived notions about people (good or bad) by first impressions and such, I've realized that I've been looking at each person with welcoming and loving eyes because I appreciate their purpose here. I can see how much God loves each one and it's incredible how much my perspective has changed towards people now that I've begun to look at them through God's lens. I feel so blessed.

Saying that, I feel blessed because I'm in this fantastic season, but I've realized also that I'll still feel blessed in hardship. Either way, in the good or the bad, I will be in this season of blessing because it's God's way and it'll be for God's glory. The importance of outlook has struck me and I'm just learning that when we praise Jesus and look up to Him as love itself, His peace will be overwhelming. I'm ready. I am so ready. I've trained (however not completely) my mind to turn away from the thoughts that will harm or make vulnerable my spirit, and instead choose thoughts of love. The biggest thing for me is pride; pride not in a manner of overconfidence, but in one of selfishness. My pride causes me to desire to do what's beneficial for myself, to expect God to give me what I want, and to have others' pour out their care onto me. It's so deterring in a way that is sneaky, but God has begun to show me how holy He is and how little I am... I need to lower myself so close to the ground that there is no space between the dirt and my face. He is so Awesome, so Amazing, so Pure and so Holy and my pride is what is keeping me away from a life that is completely all out for Him. I know that when I break myself from that, I'll be able to hear Him so much more clearly. I will be able to stop going off tuition and feeling, but rather start living my life abandoned and wholly entrusted in Him. It's all about God. His presence would reign whether or not I'm alive and that is so humbling in itself. Take me on this journey, God. I'm ready and zealously willing to do whatever you want.